“Twins? How nice!”

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A lot of people ask me how it is to be a twin sister. Actually, when I say that I have a twin sister most people say something like “Really? That is so cute!” or “Are you very alike? That is so nice!” and then they ask how it is to be a twin sister. I know that they don’t want to sound foolish, but they do.

Society sees twins as something “cute”. Two people that look alike, how wonderful. When I ask someone if they would like to have a twin, they usually answer “Sure, it would be amazing.”. But when I ask if they would like to have someone who looks like them physically but with a totally different personality and that people would always assume you were the same, the answer is “God no! That is awful. I like to be unique”.

The truth is that even without being on purpose, people usually assume that me and my sister have the same personality just because we look alike! It is even ridiculous when they ask my name and I say “Ana Sofia”, and my sister’s name “Margarida”. They always add: “Oh, so you should be Ana Margarida.” Seriously??

The only thing worse than that is the physical analysis that I have to submit myself every time we know someone new. “Oh, you must have some differences! Let me see…”. Sure we have: my sister is a bit slimmer than me, her hair is longer, my face is rounder, my nose goes up and hers goes down… the list is long. I feel that I’m in the “Discover the differences” in the daily newspaper. It is not pleasant.

Another bitter side of being a twin is the sexual role that guys associate to twins: the ménage-à-trois. Thank god no one ever asked me that directly, but when we go out at night sometimes guys do a queue to take a picture with both of us. I can only image why…

But enough with the complaining! There are also a lot of good things about having a twin. The worst part was during adolescence when everyone has identity issues and for twins it only gets worse. However, since we don’t live together (my sister is studying in another city) our relationship got better. It is nice to talk with someone you trust, that is your own age and knows you well and knows your life. We can fight, but at the end of the day we are sisters and we love each other. And that is something that maybe some brothers that have a very different age can’t say because they grew apart. I can talk with her about my problems because most of the times we can see them eye to eye once we pass the same “phases” almost at the same time.  The problems of the first love, the first break up, the first exams in university, the freshman year questions, the driving-license examination…  All things that an older sister or brother would depreciate because after it happens it becomes easy to devaluate them. 

I’m here in Romania and I can honestly say that I really miss her and I wouldn’t care about all the bad or stupid stuff people tell twins if I could have her with me!

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